New Year Equals New Me

Like the title, a new year equals a new me. I start my first fast tomorrow. I know this a like 8 days late in the year, but I am not letting anyone take Ana away from me. I will workout every day for at least four hours and take in less the 500 calories a day. I will not fuck up this time, and if I fail, I'm just not working hard enough. I will run a mile as soon as I can get to the track. I'm addicted to circuit training now. It's so much fun! I never get bored with it! I'm sick of looking around at my family and seeing their worried faces and threats to send me back to the hospital, but I'm not going to give up this time. This is something I don't think I can recover from considering I keep returning back to it.

Tomorrow's Plan

I went to see my doctor today. She said there was a six pound difference since I last saw her. That's not enough! I have to get thinner! 

For tomorrow's breakfast, i'm eating 3 egg whites. (protein boosts your metabolism) that is 150 calories

Lunch is an orange, that's 75 cals.

Dinner will be lean deer meat, 269 cals.

Total planned intake=494

I've got a lot of cleaning to do tomorrow so that'll burn a helluva lot of calories. (one hour of cleaning burns anywhere from 300 to 350 calories) Then I'm going to get on the elliptical and burn at least 200 calories, then I'ma hit the treadmill for 45 minutes. I'll start off walking, then jogging, then running. I'll keep rotating between those intervals. I'll try to do some taebo too. That shit is AMAZING! You burn almost 500 calories in just thirty minutes!!! Fuckin' epic!

We finally got a weight set thingy. Now I can bench press and junk! Mom is catching on to the whole not eating thing so i have to pretend to be snacking on something the whole time she's watching me. -annoyed face- that's gonna be hard. but i'm sure i can do it. Wish me luck you guys! xoxo

I Have No One To Blame Except Myself

I took a long trip into "eating healthy" when I saw my mom cry. I'm at 204 now... UGH! I've burned 125 calories on the elliptical this morning and I'm going back to the elliptical every time someone tells me to eat. I will show them all what real control is. Real control is not putting in more than you can work off.

I Hate The Fucking Hospital

EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT!!!!!!!!!

That is all I have heard for the month or two or whatever. I am so sick of food!!! I got home from the hospital and the scale said 221... I've lost ten pounds (I just got back) so far, and I WILL LOSE MORE. I'm not sure I care if I get put back into this so called "recovery" thing. I am perfectly content with Ana. Tomorrow I am not eating anything but small apple slices. I will drink about 3-4 liters of water, and burn so many calories on the elliptical that I finally got enough money to buy. I'm down to three hundred dollars now... Who wants a fat fuck for a model? I've got to lose the weight! By Monday, I will at least be 205.

Hi, You Can Call Me Ana...

I'm not going to put my real name on this blog because of my modeling agency and future jobs. I refuse to be the girl who "is too risky to be hired". Anyhow, you can call me Ana.

I said I work for a modeling agency, and yes, that is true. However, I am not the typical model you're thinking of. I am not that beautiful ninety pound model on the runway. I am that FAT girl you see in the mall asking you to sign up for worthless shit. I weigh 204 pounds. I did weigh 186, but my mother decided "oh let's make Ana eat, i'm worried she isn't fat enough" ugh!!! I had two options: eat, or go back to a hospital. I chose to eat because that would be my third time at a hospital.

I'll tell you more about myself later, but right now, I just wanted to hit the basics. I am pro-ana, if you do not like it, then please exit this blog now. Thanks. =)

Highest Weight: 211 lbs
Lowest Weight:154 lbs
Current Weight: 204 lbs
Goal Weight: 90 lbs

Today's Calorie Intake= 480
Calories Burned= 594 (going to workout more later)
Total= negative 114